Insecure
by STANathanXOox
Summary: This is a story about Tony and Ziva, for years Tony has had a secret that he had kept for years and Ziva has figured it out. Eventual Tiva
1. Chapter 1

**ALRIGHT SO I WAS ASKED IF I COULD RIGHT THIS STORY AND WAS THRILLED TO HAVE THIS IDEA GIVEN TO ME. NOW I KNOW I HAVE MULTIPLE STORIES WRITTEN AT THE MOMENT BUT I WILL TRY AS OFTEN AS I CAN TO UPDATE THIS STORY. PLEASE REVIEW AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK.**

"I know Tony" Ziva said. My heart raced, beating wildly. What did she know? What could she possibly know about me that I hadn't already told her? Was my shield, my barrier breaking? Slipping? Did I need to do something to push her away? What was it that she knew?

"Know what?" I asked looking around the bullpen nervously, making sure no one was there. Which was stupid because we were the only ones who had stayed after the case had been solved about three hours ago. I was catching up on paperwork and Ziva was… well I don't know what exactly Ziva was doing but from the way she was watching me with a microscopic lens I knew that it couldn't be good.

"That you are faking it" she stated. The way she said it was as if she was trying to prove to me that the sky was blue.

"Faking what?" I asked and she growled

"Faking your stupidity. Hiding the fact that you are actually incredibly smart" she said and my mouth dropped. No one was supposed to know that, not even Vance or Gibbs knew that. I'd purposely hid the fact that I had an almost perfect IQ that was probably higher than McGee or Abby's IQ, but I'd purposefully hidden behind this wall of being the stupid, smart arse movie fanatic who needed a girl on each arm just to function. It was something that I had learnt after years of living with my almost never present father, another thing that I'd hidden while being in Baltimore PD because my team in Philly had used me and now it was something that I never wanted to reveal. Yes there were times when I was clueless, like when my father was in town and I needed a second opinion because I was confused and I didn't know how to deal with the situation, I mean having a father who either used or abandoned you at the first sign of a good looking woman was difficult and confusing. But most of the time it was just a protective barrier, something to hide behind, a shield, one that protected me from being used.

"How did you find that out Ziva?" I asked looking at her quizzically.

"Mossad" she stated matter of factly and I groaned.

"Don't tell anyone" I said and she narrowed her gaze about to ask why but I shook my head.

"Now is not the time" I said having seen Gibbs make his way into the room. Turning back to my work I knew that if I was doing that I could ignore the looks that Ziva kept on shooting my way.

"Your right it's not the time for whatever argument the two of you are about to get involved in we have a missing marine. Grab your gear. Ziva call McGee, Tony gas the truck. I'll go get Duck" he said and I nodded grabbing the keys for the truck and going down to gas it before we all headed out to the scene.

The whole ride to the crime scene was tense, Ziva was glaring at me McGee was trying to work out why I was ignoring everyone and Gibbs was just being Gibbs. I didn't need or want to have to explain myself, why would I as it was no one's business to be honest. When we got out of the truck I was sent to interview the witnesses which was a good thing as I didn't need to worry about having to shield myself from anyone. Though I was a little bit distracted I managed to get it done and was able to report back to Gibbs before we all headed back to headquarters and to our cars. Though as I was getting in the elevator to go home I was stopped by Ziva again.

"Look Tony I know that you don't like to talk about it but I can't understand why you wouldn't be proud of the fact that you are incredibly smart. I mean honestly if I had the IQ that you had I wouldn't be ashamed of it, I would be proud of the fact that I had such a fantastic knowledge" I sighed and flipped the switch.

"Ziva you haven't been through what I went through" I tried to reason with her and she raised an eyebrow at me

"Obviously, for me it wasn't quite what you went through but I do understand the feeling of not being good enough for your loved ones" she said and I nodded

"Right well, I guess before my mother passed away I was always proud of being as smart as I am. She passed away but then my father became a drunk and he spent more time finding himself a replacement for my mother than he did about me and my successes, he became annoyed with me if I started talking the way I did and I guess since then it was just easier for me to hide it than to admit to it" I said and she nodded.

"I know but your father isn't in the picture, don't you think that it would make you feel so much better to let it out, let everyone know that you are who you are instead of the person that you pretend to be" she said and I raised an eyebrow and she agreed

"Right well yeah if you do it then so will I" she said and I sighed

"Look I'll think about it" I said as I flipped the switch and she nodded

"That's all I ask of you Tony" she said getting off as the doors finally opened.

Making my way home, thought about all the things that Ziva had said, it felt weird to admit to anyone that the man I am was a fraud. That the true person I am should be the person I show the world, but that was easier said than done. When you've been hiding behind the fake persona as long as I have its hard to revoke it. But then I'd always been told that the only way to respect others was to respect and love myself first. I really needed to think about this but honestly I felt a little relieved to have someone else in the know.


	2. Chapter 2

**HEY GUYS I'M SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO UPDATE AND I HONESTLY HAVE NO IDEA WHEN I'M GOING TO BE ABLE TO UPDATE AGAIN AS I AM GOING TO BE SUPER BUSY WITH COURSE AND WORK OVER THE NEXT COUPLE OF MONTHS. PLEASE REVIEW AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK.**

The following day at work really tested my limits and I tried not to let my annoyance with Ziva show but it obviously hadn't worked, we had been called out early that morning to another crime scene, where we found the body of the missing women, I had no idea what came over me but at seeing the deceased women in front of me I asked Ducky to do a rap kit. I was returning to the office after my lunch break when Gibbs got on at the 1st floor and made his way up to the 3rd floor with me. I was minding my own business until Gibbs flipped the switched the switch on the elevator, sending the box into semi-darkness. He stood there glaring at me for a couple of minutes before he growled and slapped me.

"What is going on Tony?" he asked and I looked at him confused

"What's going on with what boss?" I asked and he growled again

"Don't play dumb with me Tony, what is happening between you and Ziva? I noticed it yesterday and again today" he said waiting for an explanation and when I didn't give him one he flipped the switch and said grumpily

"Don't let it effect your work" and I nodded as the elevator doors opened and we both got off.

I made my way over to my desk and sat in my seat before continuing my work. At least I did until Gibbs was called away from the room and Ziva made her way over to me and whispered

"So did you think about it?" I sighed

"Ziva will you just drop it?" I asked and she shook her head

"I don't see why you are so afraid show it off?" she questioned and McGee choose that moment to walk back into the squad room.

"Show what off?" he said

"It's nothing probie, didn't your mother ever tell you not to join in other people's conversations uninvited" I scolded, which caused McGee to scoff

"This coming from the world's biggest eaves dropper" he said and I frowned, deciding to ignore everyone and went back to work. I could hear Ziva and McGee talking as I tried to concentrate on the job that Gibbs had given me before he'd left. That is until I found something that I really didn't expect to find. Jumping up from my desk and running over to the elevator, I heard McGee and Ziva call after me.

The drive from NCIS to the prison was a long one, it wasn't the fear of seeing him again as I'd faced the man more than 50 times in the process of solving the case and before trial. Jack "The Kill Her" Donohue was the first man I'd put behind bars as a detective for the Baltimore PD and he was a sneaky SOB. But now as I made my way toward the prison I was going through all the different possibilities in how this mans MO could've been used. As I got out of my car and made my way through the police check and into the interview room I was positive that he would take one look at me and refuse to speak and if he did that then I would need to find a way to get him to speak and fast, there had already been two girls killed and if that was the case then we would need to find out who it was that was killing them fast, as there would be another one by days end and then another by morning. A couple of minutes later I was greeted by Jack, he'd aged a little since the last time I'd seen him but he still had that same sneer to his face.

"If it isn't Anthony DiNozzo Junior, ex Baltimore PD detective now NCIS Special Agent. Working under the leadership of Leroy Jethro Gibbs and partnered with Special Agent Timothy McGee and Mossad liaison Ziva David. Tell me why does NCIS need a Mossad Liaison?" he asked and I looked at him, how did he find out about all of them. He must've seen my face drop cause he answered

"My men hacked the NCIS server, which by the way was incredibly easy. The found the files they needed and they brought them to me as per my instructions to them". I scowled before rummaging through the folder I'd brought in with me and showing him the photos of the victim.

"Are your men following your instruction now?" I asked and he looked at the pictures his face dropping.

"Tony you know me well, but these are not me. Study the pictures like you did thousands of times before and you'll find the one thing that I did not do. But be careful as if they are using my timeline there will be more to come" he said and I nodded.

"I probably shouldn't say this but thank you Jack" I said before leaving the prison.

As I entered NCIS I made my way straight down to the morgue. Luckily when I came in there was no sign of Gibbs or anyone else but there was Ducky and Jimmy who were both pouring over the two dead bodies.

"Has Gibbs been down yet Duck?" I asked and he looked up and smiled

"Ah Tony, to what do I have the pleasure?" he asked and I looked at him before turning to Jimmy and asking

"Palmer has Gibbs been down?" I asked and he nodded

"He left about half an hour ago" he said and I nodded before making my way over to Ducky and asking if I could see the body. He looked at me strangely before I grabbed one of the pictures of the old victims and then to the new victim lying on the table, searching through the photo and seeing what was different between this photo and the body lying in front of me as that would led us to the new person. The thing was that all of the things looked exactly the same to me. I tried looking at the body in front of me at different angles but it did not work. I was just about to leave when I saw the difference to the new bodies and the old. It was so simple that I'm surprised it took me so long to find it. The poor girls head had been pounded in, checking with the other body to see if it was the same I was about to leave when Ducky stopped me.

"Anthony what is it? I've never once seen you come down here and ask to look at a dead body and you've spent a good 45 minutes looking between the bodies and the picture in your pocket, please tell me what is wrong?" he asked and I shook my head.

"I can't do that Duck, at the moment I need to see Abby and once I have something more concrete I will tell all of you. Just one more thing before I go, did you do the rape kit like I asked?" I questioned and he nodded

"On both of them?" I asked and again he nodded

"Abby has both of the rape kits now" he said and with that I left autopsy and made my way up to Abby's lab.

Entering Abby's lab I knew that she was going to want to know why I was asking all these questions about why I knew these things and why I was acting different to how I normally did but I couldn't get her involved.

"Hey Abs" I said with a smile on my face

"Tony, what can I do for you?" she asked and I smiled

"I was just wondering if you could tell me the results of the rape kit that Ducky took on our victims and what weapon was used on the top of the women's heads?" I asked and she nodded

"The rape kit results just came back, but I already told Gibbs that the weapon that was used on the head of the victim was a red metal baseball bat, obviously when I get more of a clearer detail on the exact type of paint and colour then I will let you guys know but for now it's red. And the rape kit results have come back saying that they are of someone in the system, just give me a minute to pull that up" as we waited for the results I stored the fact that the added element was a red baseball bat. As the results pinged to say that they were ready to be viewed my phone rang and I answered it

"Tony, we have a new victim same MO. Where are you?" Ziva asked and I answered

"I'm with Abby I'll meet you at the car in five minutes" I said and heard her tell Gibbs before she hung up.

"Alright Abs, we've got to make this one quick as we have a new victim" I said and she nodded as the folder opened. As the results appeared on the screen I gasped, that couldn't be true he was still in prison, hell I'd seen him there myself just a few hours ago.

"What is it Tony?" Abby asked and I shook my head before I left to meet the others up at the cars.


End file.
